Pot 4 thought?

i realized i could write again, about three weeks ago… it was because i didn’t smoke before (unfortunately). i started reading tom robbins; still life with woodpecker, no worries, i smoked all day while reading it. though, i hate that realization. not smoking i mean. i hate that when i smoke and i cant write. but then again, im pretty high right now. but then again, this isn’t MLA format. 

that in mind, i took a survey today.  it was about Facebook and friends… how much more vague can you get? friends? more like connections to be used for the greater good of yours truly… fuck that. actual compassion and trust. your worst enemies; taking advantage of every mistake. your best friends, pleading with you to stay…

aderol off the table and what-not makes you feel balanced, only if you’re twisted. otherwise, you just clean. clean, clean, clean all-day till you decide that you’re world “is as cleansed as the heavens”: which is fine: if your definition of heaven is clean. but as i was recently reminded: “when you trip, you better surround yourself with that pure love, whatever that means; and you’ll know”. and recently, i’ve realized that that is really hard to do!

so, fuck love right? we figure out how to sleep every night, then forget the next. we are reminded how to sleep… only for that moment… then slumber… then you forget. crazy shit considering how much we dream. it sucks, cause i’ve missed a lot of girls in those dreams ;)

damn, another shot of tequila at 8:51 in the morn…. goin hard? but thats how it goes when you clean… but “work is prayer brother remigious!”

last time i dreamed my necklace was ripped off. it was an amulet i wore around my neck since i was confirmed… why the fuck did i do that??? now i feel the sun. a sensation that casts out what is not necessary. and now i wear a chain. simple; representing what? good question my friend… guess.

so, i see santa clause on the window in april… am i phased? so, you see winter in the spring… welcome to Minnesota. the cold cant bother me anymore… im done :)

…”and so they walk, onwards towards…” (we interrupt this broadcast to tell you that this message is being killed, mostly because of advertising, but feel free to insert your product on the dotted line!).

black dress, necklace, you wrote the guest list, at the party everybody knows you the hostess, let’s get some breakfast; at tiffany’s, forget the bad memories way back in ‘93, Audrey; i know we never met in time, like snowflakes, one of a kind, i wanna make you mine, rollin all day; with my girl Ms. Hepburn, lookin so fine when we drive she makes heads turn, if i didn’t know better, i’d wish we’d be together, roll weed, smoke blunts, bowl cruise forever, smoking all day; this girl likes to burn, if this isn’t love i never wanna learn.

I found this on my friend Nick’s page, thought it was pretty cool. I didn’t think he would mind if I quoted him… at least I hope not.

As if today couldn’t get any gloomier, I receive two phone calls during my FYS class. One from my mother, the other from a friend who had lived at my house for 6 months about a year ago. After class I called my mom back. She started telling me about this jacket that I had given to my best friend and neighbor before i left for college. Of course i remembered:

That jacket was brought to my house during the filming of this stupid film festival movie. When we finished filming I had all these costumes and props at my house and told whoever owned them to come get them. As people are, most of the crap remained. So i threw it in a big black bag. Before I left my friend asked for that jacket, since no one had since claimed it. Of course! I know it’s a Burberry but no one had claimed it… It was just left there. Plus, he had given me a pair of shoes earlier. I know the difference between shoes and a jacket, so I consider the transaction unrelated because the shoes were a sentimental gift given that i could remember him in college.

So after getting off the phone with my mom I call the person to whom it belonged and was addressed incredibly rudely. I couldn’t believe it, this kid was one of my favorite underclassman. I thought we were friends? Now I’m accused of selling the jacket and claiming I bought it from London? How has this become such a big deal?

This is where it gets interesting…

My best friend who I had given the jacket to had also been my roommate in London over spring break; not only that, but he had probably spent every waking moment with me. We didn’t separate that trip. So if I had bought that jacket, he would’ve known. Which means if i would have claimed to have bought it, he would’ve recalled.

So my friend that had lived with me goes to my house today and asks my mother where it is. My mom doesn’t know, how could she? But as she tries to defend the fact that I did not steal or sell the jacket for any amount of money, he raises his voice at my mother and even calls her son a lier to her face.

The friend who used to live with me now lives with the owner of the jacket (simply coincidence). Now I’m sitting here being called a lier and a thief 96 miles away from St. John’s University. And when I tried to call either of them, I was treated like an unwanted telemarketer. He even got the coat back today, with no argument or hostility!

Fortunately my best friend and the owner of the jacket have the same first hour class tomorrow, and my best friend has said he will speak with him and get this all straightened out.

When someone lives at your house you’d think you’d expect more. Maybe even a conversation. But I was dismissed on the phone and called a lier. When I get home for Thanksgiving Break I don’t know what I’m going to do, I still remember when he spent Thanksgiving with us last year, one year later he’s forsaking me…

This shit sounds like it should be on Showtime or something… just crap.